What if?: I'm sorry
by FreakyFind
Summary: Rythian has gone and all he left behind was a letter. I am going to continue this and what's more, I had a brainwave. This is now the first part of the What if? Series. Contains Yogscast, WHICH I DO NOT OWN. Please Review as it is my First fanfiction. (Rating may change as I get further into the story)
1. Written, not told

**My first fanfiction. **

Zoey,

I'm sorry I had to leave but I was scared. Not for me but for you. I was scared about what I might do to you because I was close to snapping. I knew that I couldn't stay, I knew that you were scared, deep down, about what I would say, what I would do. But I can't now because I'm gone. You hid what you truly felt deep down under Blackrock, locked away with all the computers and machines and I got angry at you for doing what you loved. And I knew that you loved science and still I said no, but you stuck with me through everything I did until... until you ran I way, no, until I _drove _you away. Some nights I tried to convince myself that it wasn't my fault but it was. Everything was. I shouldn't have forced you to not do science, I shouldn't have held a grudge against Duncan and Sjin, because that's what drove them to doing what they did. They were scared I would start another war so they had to take action to keep me away. And I hope you can forgive me, Zoey. Please, don't come after me. It will pain you, what you will see, and I don't want to hurt you anymore.

If I had stayed, then I would have cracked into millions of pieces and you would have been left to pick them up, and you might have been cut by the sharp shards of my conscience. Where I've gone, even if I do break then the pieces can't hurt you, or anyone else. They will burn away in the fiery depths of hell, both my body and soul.

Forget about me Zoey, I was a lost cause the whole time. Now you are free to be happy; to do Science. You don't need to do it in secret anymore.

Goodbye, forever,

Rythian

**So did you enjoy my letter from Rythian to Zoey? Do you think I should carry this on with what happens after? Please Review! :D**


	2. hurt

**I have decided that I am going to continue this. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and showed great support! :D BTW the story will be told in mostly Zoey's POV**

_Goodbye, forever_

_Rythian_

In the few minutes it took me to read the letter, I felt my heart shatter. My head pounded and the paper fluttered, like a butterfly, before coming to a rest on the ground. "_No, please God, no! This can't be real, this can't be happening." _I whispered to myself, my whole body shaking. Tears streamed down my face, salty tears of horror, draining from me the happiness Rythian and I had shared. I crumpled to the ground, my silent tears suddenly becoming sobs and I couldn't stop. The pain inside me, the pain from the jagged pieces of my heart made my cry, but not for me, my tears were for Rythian. _"He thought I hated him. I should have told him... this is my fault!" _By now, my weeping was so great that I could feel the force on my throat as air tried to enter my body. I heard the door open, and a man's voice came from the doorway. "Zoey? Oh gosh, are you ok." For one moment I thought it was Rythian and I felt my heart slowly fix itself... until I realised that Rythian didn't have a Scottish accent. This made the pain worse as the sharp shards of my heart repelled each other and cut the inside of my body. My head started spinning and I could hear the man speaking to me, but his voice was a blur. Slowly, I gave into the pain and allowed my eyes to close.

"Will she be OK?"

"She should be, but she needs rest."  
My eyes flew open to see a familiar face bent over my, his eyes full of concern. "N-nilesy?" I stuttered, feeling as though someone had hit me in the head with a baseball bat. He grinned at me, "The one and only! How're you feeling? You where quite... er, "broken" when I found you." The memory of what happened hit me with force and I felt tears rolling down my face. "It's ok, Zoey." Nilesy said in a soothing voice. He placed his hand on my shoulder reassuringly and smiled at me. I looked down, a lump forming in my throat as I tried not to break down.

"Umm... do you guys want some time alone?"

I glanced up to see Martyn standing next to Nilesy. I figured that he must have been the one healing me, which made sense because he was part Nature spirit. His sapphire blue eyes glancing towards the door, giving the impression that he needed to get going. I gave him a small smile to show I was grateful, "You can go if you want, thanks for... for healing me." He returned the smile, "Glad I could help. If you need anything, I'll be at my camp." The blonde turned and walked out of the door. I stared after him trying to avoid Nilesy's glance. I knew he wanted to talk about Rythian. I knew he wanted to help but I also knew that there wasn't much point. My heart was already broken beyond repair. I felt like shutting out the rest of the world and falling asleep, only to never wake up...

**Aaaand stop! I was going to make it longer but I was sorta rushed for time. **


	3. A different world

**Sorry for the long wait, I was just like oooh yay! Half term, that means plenty of time to continue this, but I have been soooo freaking' busy.**

It's a beautiful sight, isn't it? Watching the sun rise, over the distant mountains, illuminating the sky and making it glow red. I wished I could appreciate it, but I couldn't. Because, although its beauty warms me inside, there's still an empty space that's freezing cold, spreading throughout my entire body and making me feel as though one hundred sharp icicles were resting inside of me, pricking my heart. I was all alone, now. Nilesy had returned to his base that he shared with Hannah and Teep was over at Ravs', most likely playing the lever game. It felt as though the whole world had just left me to die. I wanted to go search for Rythian, but I had no idea where to start and from his letter, it had almost seemed like he had... _no, don't let yourself believe that, Zoey_. I thought to myself. Standing up, I sighed heavily, and made my way back to Blackrock- or what was left of it. Since Rythian had left, I hadn't been looking after the castle. It was overgrown with weeds, mushrooms and vines. The basalt bricks were slowly crumbling away, and the bathe had leaked. I walked into my bedroom and sank down onto the bed, my head heavy with sadness as I remembered "Zoey's dream design". I remembered showing Rythian around our new decked out castle and his reaction (which was basically just standing there speechless). I almost smiled but not quite, I didn't smile anymore; I couldn't.

Lost in my own thoughts, I barely noticed the knock on the door. Slowly, I got up and made me way to answer it.

**Just a quick change of POV (don't expect this often) Go! Rythian! *throws pokeball**

I watched as the lava bubbled and hissed **(wow, hissed really? I was running out of ideas, sorry!)** I closed my eyes as I took another step forwards. _I'm sorry, Zoey_. I tumbled into the fiery pit of fire, **(Oh God, I'm doing terrible today!) **the flames engulfing me. I felt the flames burning away my skin, tugging at my flesh and ripping away my life. I screamed, but the lava filled my mouth and I sank down to the bottom.

"Aaaaaah!" I sat bolt upright. I looked down at my skin, no burns, no blood, no nothing. "It was all a dream..." I breathed. My heart pounded in my chest, "B-but I remember jumping, so clearly it can't have... been... no, I do remember it, it MUST have been real."

"Oh yes, the jumping part was real, my son." A voice chuckled. I glanced up, waaay up. I saw I was outside, but the sky was... different to how it normally was... even at night. With a jolt I realised that I was in the end, and high up in the sky, grinning down at me, was a dragon. But not one of those dragons that you find in children's fairy books, no, those are all trapped inside a glass cage under a mad scientist's house. **(wait... what!?) **The dragon I'm talking about has skin as black as the night sky **(although, in the end, the sky is always sorta purple, so that's not really true)** and purple eyes like an enderman's. I glared at it- her, "You... You bastard! What do you want with me?" She chuckled... again, "My my, that's no way to talk to your mother is it, Ryth?" I trembled with anger, "You're not my mother!" I spat at her. I pulled myself up onto my feet.

"You can't deny it, Rythian. You are part enderman. Embrace your true self. Oh, and as for what I want of you? Basically, I have a _little _quest for you." The dragon, also known as the EnderQueen, flapped her wings and a screen appeared next to her, showing Zoey at Blackrock, sitting on the bed and crying. _Zoey_... my heart screamed for her to be by my side. I didn't want to see her cry. "You see, Rythian, there's a problem. I can't have you running off with a _mortal_. It defies everything I stand for... well _fly_ for, actually. Anyway, what I want you to do is... kill her." I stumbled back; I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "WHAT!" I shouted in rage, "I am NOT. You can't make me!" The EnderQueen smiled, "Oh but I think I can. What if I told you that if you did not carry out my wish then I will kill all your little friends... except for the nature spirit, it's going to be fun _playing _with him." I was stumped _Zoey, or my friends_ I had to choose. "So are you going to complete my fun little task, or do I have to kill everyone?" My mouth felt dry as I spoke. A permanent knot twisted in my stomach as my heart ached with guilt.

"I'll do it."

**Another chapter in da bag. I literally couldn't type today. It took me half an hour to type the first sentence, literally. My fingers... owwwwwwwwww. Why am I still typing.**

***disappears in a flash of light, all that is left is a pokeball**


	4. The boy

**Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I'm not too consistent with this sort of stuff. XD**

* * *

Green and brown blurred together as he sprinted through the forest, nose spilling blood and his left arm broken. He choked back a sob, "It's summer... why is this happening. It shouldn't be happening!" The boy collapsed against a tree, his vision fading to black.

* * *

**Zoey's POV**

"Bye!" I said as Nilesy stepped out the door. He waved before turning and walking off in the direction of the shore. I sighed, wishing that he had stayed longer but Nilesy had just come to check if I was ok. Not knowing what to do with myself, I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. "Maybe I should visit some friends?" I thought to myself, "Yeah... that's what I'll do." I started to head in the direction of the forest, unaware of what I was about to see...

On entering the forest, I had entertained myself be remembering my mushrooms from the old world I smiled, "Barry, my prized mushroom that I spent literally two seconds cultivating." I murmered before glancing to my right to check if anyone had seen me talking to myself. In fact, there was someone there but they didn't look as though they had seen me. Their body was a broken form slumped againt a tree. I gasped and ran over to check if they were ok. They weren't, obviously. Blood trickled from their nose and down his face **(Zoey obviously figured the person was a boy) **and his arm was bent at a funny angle. All in all, I could confirm that this person, who was no more than a boy, was definately NOT ok. "Oh gosh, oh gosh... what am I going to do?" The boy's eyes fluttered open and met me concerned orange ones. He groaned, "What... where... who...?" The boy struggled to get up but yelped in pain and collapsed. "Hey, hey, its ok! Don't try to move. What's your name?"

"T-toby." The boy groaned. I recognised the name. "Your Martyn's friend, aren't you? Wait... Martyn! He can help!" Toby whimpered," No-no! He can't know I'm here! Please don't tell him." I frowned, wondering why Toby seemed to be scared of his friend. "Please... Don't!" Toby said again.

"Ok. Look, can you walk?" I asked him.

"I think so."

* * *

I sat on my bed wondering who else was good with healing. "Duncan is." My brain kept reminding me, but I didn't want to ask _him_. I still partially blamed him for Rythian leaving. Then I thought about Toby in the other room, who freaked out whenever I mentioned Martyn. The boy needed medical attention, snd I didn't think asking Martyn would be I good idea. I sighed, standing up, picked up my flying ring, and headed for the great castle looming over the hills, right on the horizon.

* * *

**Chapter four is dooooooneeee! I know that nothing happened with Rythian in this chapter but... FILLER. And this is essential to the storyline... yeah, that too.**

**Anyways. Hoped you enjoy and if you did, then review and like and fav!**


	5. into the past

**Sorry it's late again, guys! Warning: Swearing and child abuse in this chapter!**

I watched as Duncan went about cleaning Toby's wounds. I had been surprised how easy it was to get Duncan to come and help, he had just agreed instantly. "There, he should be okay. But why couldn't you get Martyn to help... or even Rythian?" He said, the last word spoken with clear venom in his voice. I took a deep breath, "I was going to ask Martyn but Toby freaked out whenever I mentioned his name. And Rythian, well..." I hesitated for a moment, wondering whether I should tell him, "Rythian's gone." I managed. Duncan turned to me, a faint smile lingering on his lips, "Gone?" He asked, "You mean he ran away." I stared at Duncan, anger bubbling up inside me. I couldn't believe it, Duncan actually looked happy because Rythian was gone. "HE'S DEAD!" I screamed, "HE KILLED HIMSELF! A-and you're laughing, you, you monster..." My voice became barely more than a whisper. Duncan glanced at me, he wasn't smiling anymore but he certainly didn't look unhappy, " Oh... I didn't know."  
"No, no you didn't." I spat, "Do you even care? Rythian forgave you and Sjin and _this_ is how you repay him?" Duncan looked at me, his eyes blazing. He stepped towards me, "You don't know _anything_! Rythian shouldn't be the one forgiving me!" I was getting mad now; Duncan had the nerve to say that he wasn't the one at fault? "Alright then, please enlighten me to why this is Rythian's fault!"

"I didn't say this is Rythian's fault! What I'm trying to say is there are things Rythian has done wrong...things he... he didn't say sorry for." As he said this the fire left his eyes and was replaced by sadness and bitterness. But I just placed my hands on my hips and scoffed, "Oh really? Then what is this thing he didn't say sorry for?" Duncan sat down in a chair and gestured to the other one, "Sit down, this is going to take quite a long time." Reluctantly, I sat. Duncan took a deep breath and then began, "Well, first thing you should know is that me and Rythian are actually brothers..."

**(DON'T WORRY, THIS IS JUST A BEAUTIFUL LINE ACTING AS A FLASHBACK)**

_Two boys stood in front of a tall, grimy building. One boy had brown hair with a blond streak, purple-blue eyes and looked about 12, whilst the other boy had dirty blond hair, bright blue eyes and looked about 9. "So do you promise to meet me outside your classroom at lunch, Ryth?" The smaller boy questioned, tugging on his brother's sleeve, "Yeah, yeah, sure." The other boy drawled, "Don't worry, Lalna, I'll __**defiantly **__be there." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice but "Lalna", as Rythian called him, didn't pick up on it, "Thanks bro!" Lalna said before sprinting off._

_**-YAYYY! LINEBREAKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKS-**_

_Lalna clutched his bruised and bloody arm and yelped in pain as the tall man hit him again and again, "Why do you always have to ruin everything? Life would be so much better if you didn't exist, if we just had Rythian." Lalna chocked back a sob, trying to ignore the harsh words which burned more than the physical pain his own father was inflicting on him. Then Lalna heard the sound of the front door opening and his older brother, Rythian call out, "Mum, Dad? I'm home!" Lalna's dad punched him in the stomach one more time before disappearing off to greet his favourite son. Lalna buried his head into his bloodstained, torn bed sheets, terrified sobs racked his body, not noticing his mother entering the room, "Get into the shower, you piece of shit and clean yourself up before Rythian notices." She hissed into Lalna's ear, making him jump. Obediently, Lalna got up and headed to the bathroom, black spots dancing in front of his eyes._

_Once he was done, Lalna crept back into his room and quietly as possibly, closed his door before covering up the blood on his bed with his duvet. There was a knock on his door, "Come in." Lalna called. Rythian opened the door and stepped through. Lalna turned his head away before saying, "You promised you would wait for me at lunchtime today." Rythian rolled his eyes, "I was being sarcastic. Are you so stupid that you don't even know when I'm joking? Lalna turned back to Rythian, his whole body shaking, "I know you weren't joking when you and your friends beat me up a few days ago." _

"_You're still angry about that?" Rythian asked rolling his eyes, "You are such a cry baby. You know, I might get them to do it again on Monday... it was actually pretty funny." Lalna's eyes widened, "NO! Please don't!" He begged, tears forming in his eyes._

"_We'll have to see, if you're are a good little brother then I won't, If you aren't then... well let's just say that you might not be able to use your arms for a long time. So if you want to get on my good side then you have to be my personal slave for the weekend." Lalna nodded frantically in agreement, not knowing what he was getting himself into._

_The weekend was torture for Lalna, but he put up with it, not wanting to be ridiculed in front of his classmates at school on Monday. On Saturday, Rythian went to the park to play football with his friends, and brought Lalna along with him. He purposely kicked the ball into the middle of the lake and then pushed Lalna in after, telling him to get the ball. After, Rythian kicked the ball on top of the church, nearby. It wasn't as tall as most churches but it was still dangerous to climb. And what did Rythian do? Why, of course he sent poor Lalna up there to retrieve the ball. Just as Lalna was climbing down, the ball tucked neatly under his left arm, one of Rythian's friends threw a large stone, with brilliant aim, and it hit Lalna on the head. He yelped, lost his grip, and tumbled to the ground with a thud. No one helped him as it was only Rythian and his friends in the park, and they just laughed at his broken form and left him there. _

_Lalna woke up seeing his worst nightmare bending over him, aka his mum and dad. He groaned and glanced around, before realising he was still in the park, where Rythian had left him. "Stand up, you fucking bitch." His father spat before roughly pulling Lalna to his feet. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" His mother's harsh voice came from his right, Lalna felt pain in his left shoulder and realised that his mother had just hit him... again. His head pounded and his vision was blurry, the voices that belonged to his parents seemed to float around his head, tormenting him. Lalna received a punch in his stomach and his father grabbed hold of his arm, so tightly that it cut off the circulation. Lalna hoped that someone was around to witness this but he knew that this side of the church was well hidden and nobody ever came here. "You are coming with us. And when we get him you are going to be severely punished." All Lalna could think about was how severe his punishment would be, seeing as he was abused just for the fun of it. Suddenly, Lalna decided he had had enough, this had been going on for as long as he could remember, and it wasn't just his parents, it was Rythian and his friends as well. Lalna ripped himself free from his father's grasp and started sprinting away. He could barely see and, frankly, he didn't care, all Lalna knew was he had to get away. He heard the sound of trainer against concrete above the sound of his heart beating, and his bare feet slapping against the ground, the jagged ground cutting his feet, and knew his father was chasing him. After what seemed like days, Lalna heard his father's footsteps come to a stop, Lalna keep running for a few more minutes before coming to a stop, leaning against a dark object, trying to regain his breath. Eventually his vision cleared and Lalna took a look at his surroundings, he seemed to be in some sort of forest. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to flop to the ground. Lalna didn't know where he was. He didn't know what he was going to do. But one thing Lalna did know was..._

_He was __never__ going back._

**Aww man! Plot twist alert, I bet you guys never guessed that Rythian was Duncan's brother! Hehehe...**

**Thanks for reading guys, you're awesome! Here, have a virtual cookie!**


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